March 2010
1 post
February 2010
1 post
October 2009
1 post
this fucking life. one day we’re really going to run away and it’ll finally just be the two of us..no worries at all.
September 2009
7 posts
iamblessed:
the spot where your hand rests -where my hip meets my thigh- when we sleep it’s yours the small of my back -where your hands lock to pull me close- while we’re in line at the movies it’s yours the place on my wrist -where my pulse races at your touch- that you kiss and make me forget my name it’s yours the space in my heart -where love seemed to instantly evaporate- that now overflows...
August 2009
58 posts
Where’s that thought that thought uncomplicated things?
Where’s that peace of mind that peace that made it easy?
Where’s that simple day that simply made it nice to be in?
Where did it go?
What is your favorite thing about the Fall?
fmylife:
Today, while talking to my boyfriend, I was frantically searching for my cell phone. He was curious as to what I was doing so I told him. There was long silence followed by laughter. He could hardly breathe as he told me, “Honey you’re on your phone talking to me.” FML
Damn! I hate when that shit happes!
fmylife:
Today, there were some wasps getting in my bedroom from a hole in the frame of my window. I went outside with some spray and took out their entrance. What I didnt know is that when you spray wasps, they go the other direction. I now have 60+ wasps flying around my bedroom. FML
oh, shit.
“In our relationships we need to uphold that aspect of the person which is the...”
– V. Khan (via maluna)
fmylife:
Today, my girlfriend and I were starting to get hot and heavy in my truck at our favorite park. We start going at it and we were both butt naked when I see a car pull into the lot. Not only is it a cop car, but the first thing the cop asks my girlfriend is “Are you being held against your will?” FML
fmylife:
Today, after selling their car, my parents decided to inform me that my car (that I paid for myself) is now going to be the “Family Car”. They also informed me that since it is, after all, my car, I’ll still have to pay for the gas and maintenance. FML
fmylife:
Today, I found out I need serious surgery on my right knee to remove a tumor growing underneath it. I will not be able to walk for 3 weeks, and the doctor told me to take off for 5 months from work just for full recovery. My father’s response, “You’ll do anything not to work.” FML
“The trick is in what one emphasizes. We either make ourselves miserable, or we...”
– C. Castaneda (via maluna)
there’s disco in the air and hairspray everywhere..
fmylife:
Today, I had a seizure at my boyfriend’s. The second I began to seize, he cursed and picked me up, dropping me on the floor complaining “Now I have to clean the damn couch.” I had urinated because I had no control over my body. The couch is still stained. He dumped me for ruining his furniture. FML
what a jerk.
fmylife:
Today, my boyfriend who likes to get high was driving me insisting he wasn’t currently high. A family of deer was standing on the side of the road and he pulled over by them waited until they walked closer to us and said, “what seems to be the problem officers?” He wasn’t kidding. FML
yes he was. AHAHAHAHHHHHAAAHAHA!
fmylife:
Today, as I opened my diary to write a new entry, I noticed that every page had little side notes about what I had written. It had an extra long note on the page where I wrote about losing my virginity in great detail. All of the notes ended with “Love, Mom.” FML
son of a bitch.
the floor is shaking in this disco heaven...
fmylife:
Today, I was riding my bike to the local grocery store to pick up some supplies for dinner. On the way down, traveling down a hill, I hit a drain with no lid. I went to grab hold of the nearest object to soften my fall. That nearest object was a barbed wire fence. FML
fmylife:
Today, I was sitting at the computer when this really annoying fly kept landing on the keyboard. After a while, I took the bottom of a pen and squished it. Twenty minutes later I absentmindedly started chewing at the bottom of the pen. FML
fmylife:
Today, I borrowed my dad’s laptop to type an essay. While I was saving it, I noticed some curious looking files and I opened them. They were rejection letters from all the colleges I had applied to. My dad had been forging them so he wouldn’t have to pay for my tuition bills. FML
fmylife:
Today, I was eating dinner with my family. My parents didn’t want me to hear what they were talking about so they decided they would spell out the words so I wouldn’t understand. I didn’t. FML
oh shit, lol.
fmylife:
Today, I discovered that sitting in the back of your car from 8-9 p.m. talking with a friend in a park area is suspicious enough behavior to have cops called on you, then for backup to arrive. FML
fmylife:
Today, I was sitting on the bus next to a hot guy who was texting. I sneaked a peak at his phone to see if he was texting a girl so I could know if he was single. As I looked at his screen, he turned it towards me and typed in caps “STOP BEING A CREEPER.” He got out of his seat and off the bus. FML
once again, ahahahaha!
fmylife:
Today, I was at my girlfriends house with just me and her. Things began to get heated and we started doing it on the living room couch. Near the end of it I decided to whisper in her ear, “Who’s your daddy?” I hear behind me, “I am.” FML
ahahhaha
“If you light a lamp for somebody else it will also brighten your path.”
– Buddha (via maluna)
fmylife:
Today, I found out that I was held back in preschool because of some developmental issues. My parents didn’t think it was important enough to mention it to me. Why hadn’t I figured it out? They also lied to me about how old I was. FML
fmylife:
Today, I finally decided to tell my mother, a former Miss North Carolina winner, that I was several weeks pregnant. She immediately burst into tears and hugged me. She kept saying, “Thank god, thank god.” At first I was relieved. Then she said, “I thought you were just getting fat.” FML